PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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