drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
