Plan B is the new Plan A
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
