There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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