At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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