She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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