She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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