so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
