she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
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I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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