I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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