guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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