I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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