haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The air was thick with penises
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
