Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
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I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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