love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
