My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
