what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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