Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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