yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I am available for nakedness
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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