got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
