ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
