I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
