K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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