I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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