He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
