Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
now i know why i became what i already was.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize