you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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