I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize