yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
