so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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