69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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