it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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