I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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