i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
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