she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
