did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you had me at cake vodka
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
