Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
