Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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