My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
