Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
