and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
