I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
