Me too!
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
