there's paper in my vomit.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
