i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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