You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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