Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
