so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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