Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
