kristin has been a bad kristin
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
