What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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