"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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