I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize