Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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