It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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