Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize