hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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