then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
