I think I won the penis lottery.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
