So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
