i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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