I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Houston, we have a blender
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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