some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
you win again, gameday.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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