dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
