Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
