I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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